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Negative emotions Like Anger, Resentment,Grudges, Betrayal etc grip us at some point of our lives .Some individuals can shrug them off soon , while others struggle to throw away the baggage , hence feel low, under-confident, victimized etc.How does resentment affect physical health?
Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions.
How does bitterness affect you physically?
The effect on serotonin levels generates an increase of anger, emotional pain, anxiety, and depression. The long-term effects of these triggers are known to many of us
Emotional information is stored through “packages” in our organs, tissues, skin, and muscles. These “packages” allow the emotional information to stay in our body parts until we can “release” it. Negative emotions in particular have a long-lasting effect on the body.
Stress hormones increase our heart rate, blood pressure, arterial tension, blood glucose levels and thyroid function.
What causes bitterness and resentment?
Bitterness and resentment relate to anger. When we let anger at others or frustration at our situation fester and build up in our hearts, we can begin to develop bitterness and resentment. Often bitterness takes root when we are hurt by others or we think a situation we are put in is unjust or unfair.
How do you heal and cure resentment?
Getting through resentment seems like an impossible task, but there are ways to move through these feelings and move forward from them:
Some tips to understand and overcome negative emotions
1. Be in the Present
The first step to freeing yourself from resentment is to remember that you choose your thoughts.
When your thoughts are fixated on past negative events, or the person you blame for them, you’re filling your bucket with thoughts that harm your present self.
We master what we practice. So if we practice living in the past , and hope things will be different in the present then , we can’t change, -but we will get really good at living in the past induced miseries and discomfort .
“Instead, we can let go and focus completely on the present, it’s a cathartic release of all that weight.”
Which simply means find replacement thoughts and activities to fill that space ..slowly the past memories will stop entering the mind ,as the current mind is busy thinking of new things
Taming our thoughts doesn’t mean banishing them entirely. In fact, learning to strategically manage our worry rather than frantically running from it removes much of its negative power.
Start by scheduling a specific window of rumination time, ideally midday rather than before bed. If you notice worries occurring outside of your designated time, gently remind yourself that you’ll get to them later.
Whether positive or negative, habits are like muscles that become stronger the more we use them. But we often strengthen certain muscles unintentionally.
Therefore be mindful of what you are strengthening Positive or negative?
Knowing our mental habits is the first step toward change. Notice when, where, and in what circumstances you tend to ruminate. During your commute? Right before bed?
You may not be able to eliminate every trigger, but you can be more aware of and prepared for them.
Break free from the spiral of negative thoughts.
De-activate your amygdala.
Sometimes we think ourselves into panic mode. If your breath gets short, your heart starts pounding, or you feel dizzy, it’s likely your body has activated its stress response.
When this happens, the reactive amygdala overrides your rational prefrontal cortex, making it fruitless to try reasoning your way out of the situation.
Instead, de-activate your sympathetic nervous system by changing the elements of your bodily processes that you can control, such as your breath and your muscles. Place a hand on your belly and feel it rise as you inhale slowly and deeply, to ensure the breath originates from your diaphragm rather than your chest.
Gently shake your arms and legs, roll your head from side to side, and squeeze and release any areas of tension.
Once you feel your body return to baseline, try giving yourself a gentle hug or placing a hand over your heart. These self-soothing gestures can be a physiological remedy for wheel-spinning, because they release calming oxytocin and reduce the production of stress hormones.
They also serve to reconnect us with our bodies and our breath. Self-compassion can be a beautiful — and effective — antidote to rumination.
2. Adjust Your Expectations
When we’re stuck in resentment, we’re living in an imaginary world, “The virtual world is the world of should — this should have happened, that shouldn’t have happened. And the real world is the way the world actually is.”
Expectations are “premeditated resentments.” If we can accept that the world is unlikely to conform to our ideals, our expectations become more realistic. , You will accept people exactly as they are and not what we want them to be
“As long as you try to align your expectations with the virtual/imaginary world, you’re going to be let down,”
3. Expect and Accept Mistakes
It’s hard to admit our imperfections
We have to understand that we are not the mistakes we have made. We are more than , that one moment in life.
It’s the same for somebody struggling in pain and resentment .
Yes, that moment hurt you, but it doesn’t define you. It’s not who you are. You’re so much greater than that moment.
4. Question Your Story
When we find ourselves caught in the grip of resentment, , we’re believing a story that isn’t true. “Once we understand how simple it is to identify and question what we’re believing, we have a tool to end all suffering and stress,” .
Writing out your judgments about another person and then asking four questions:
This can be a surprisingly powerful tool for breaking resentment’s spell.Because now we are being more rational, logical and non-judgemental.
Once you’ve questioned your story, it may do more than just free you from a long-held grudge:
5. Take Responsibility
To free ourselves from resentment, we might assume that we need the person we resent to apologize.This is an illusion .
Another person may have indeed done something hurtful, but nurturing a grudge is something we do, and only we can undo it. “That person isn’t causing my resentment. What I’m thinking and believing is,”
The same is true when someone resents us, even after we apologize. While it’s good to right our wrongs, we can’t predict how others will respond,
. This is the equivalent of putting our peace in someone else’s hands.
It’s your life, and at the end of the day, you’re going to have to live in your body, with your feelings, and with your emotions.
You get to decide how much time and space you allow resentment in your life.
I only have one person in the world to work with, and that’s me.
Most important , if another person has acted in his own interest, taken advantage of us, not given us the due, cheated on us --Honestly we can't do anything about it .He/she is well within his rights to do things that he wanted to do ..All we can do is stay on guard , be more careful alert, aware and learn to deal with things rather than blame someone and get into a shell.
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